Poor Santa. As if life wasn’t busy enough for him, trying to make the rounds and deliver toys to all the good little girls and boys (and all in one night), every now and then he has to deal with a Bad Elf. Of course, that’s a walk in the park for Santa, at least it’s easier than dealing with a Very Bad Elf. Or so he tells me.

It gets worse, though. Now and then, a Seriously Bad Elf starts raising a ruckus, and they can be tough indeed to deal with. If anyone can do it, though, Santa can. Heck, he can even deal with the occasional Criminally Bad Elf, though they usually manifest themselves while he’s out making the rounds on December the 24^th. Mrs. Claus has a way of putting them in their places, though.

What do you do when you run across that ever so rare Insanely Bad Elf, though? Why, lock him up of course for 5 years and teach the rascal a lesson. And that’s exactly what I did with my bottle of England’s Ridgeway Brewing’s beer of the same name.

I bought my bottle of Insanely Bad Elf at Mink’s Package in Marietta, Georgia in January of 2010, just before I bought my house in Canton the following March. Now, my bottle says “Vintage 2010”, but it must have been released in the winter of 2009 for me to buy it then. The label is rather mangled, as when we moved I took my chilled beers and packed them in a cooler of ice for the trip to their and my) new home.

I drank my bottle (for which I can’t remember what I paid) in December of 2014, so the Insanely Bad Elf did qualify for a few months of early release from his 5-year term. He was pretty quiet in my beer fridge for all this time, after all. Ridgeway’s Bad Elf line of beers get progressively stronger, and the Insanely Bad Elf (an imperial red ale) tops them all out at 11.2% by volume. It is sold in 11.2 ounce bottles. The brewery says of this one on the label:

“My goodness”, muttered Claus, recalling his visit to the Institute, “the restrictive outerwear, the padded room-even padded Christmas tree ornaments. Horrifying! Yet the little chap seems happier than he’s ever been” Claus took a thoughtful sip of a most warming red ale. “Perhaps sanity is over-rated…Ho,Ho,Ho!”

No mention of ingredients but the label does say the beer contains barley and rye.

My nigh upon 5-year old bottle of Ridgeway Insanely Bad Elf pours to a rusty red color with a light creamy head and a boozy, fruity red apple nose. Taking a sip I can't believe how smooth this one is, really easy to drink for a beer of this strength. That must be the age talking. Its intensely fruity with big red apple and light berry notes, rich stewed malts and a hint of grassy hops still around in the finish. The beer is flinty and a little buttery, too. There’s big warm alcohol at the last, and this one is still great after all these years.

I’ll have to find another bottle and enjoy it young to compare, but properly stored, it’s safe to say Insanely Bad Elf is a beer that you shouldn’t be afraid to hang onto.



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