Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and a bottle of white stout are locked in a room. Only one can escape, but to do it, they have to be the first to the center of the room to claim the one key that will unlock a door through which only one may pass. Tensions run high, but which will prevail? Inquiring minds want to know.

The answer, of course, is none of them. Because as we all know, there’s no such thing as Santa Claus, no such thing as the Easter Bunny, and no such thing as a white stout. At least not as far as I’ve been able to divine. White stouts are said to be pale versions of their dark forbears, with about the same roasty flavor profile. Can such a thing be accomplished?

I almost found out on Black Friday when I spied a six-pack of Red Hare Betty White Stout at Total Wine. For some reason, they weren’t selling this one as a single, and I balked at the price of $13.99 a six-pack. I am very much a fan of Red Hare and their beers, but that price is out of line with reality. Then too, I was a little miffed that this beer was replacing my beloved Island of Misfits IPA as Red Hare’s winter seasonal.

Fast forward a few weeks, and checking the Taco Mac app on my phone, I noticed Betty White Stout on tap at Canton. There it was, my golden opportunity to try the beer. I ordered one up, and while I awaited its arrival, I checked out the brewery website for their description of the beer.

Lighter in color than normal stouts but fuller in body than most, the version a white stout that drinks like a dense piece of chocolate cake with homemade vanilla frosting.

Red Hare Betty White Stout has an alcohol content of 7.4% by volume and I paid $6.80 for a 23-ounce mug at Taco Mac.

My beer arrived, not really as pale in color as I expected, but more deep amber with dark murky notes. The head was prodigious and the nose offered apricots and phenols. Sipping there was vanilla icing and grassy hops and phenols and warming alcohol in a really incongruous mess.

Truth be told, I found this beer to be awful. None of the elements worked together, and it was not at all like any stout I have ever had. Not at all roasty or chocolatey that I could discern. About the only thing going for it is the clever name. It’s not a beer I can recommend at all.

And remember, try a new beer today, and drink outside the box.

*Pricing data accurate at time of review or latest update. For reference only, based on actual price paid by reviewer.

(B)=Bottled

(D)=Draft

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