Some people say I am not critical enough of the beers I review. That's a fair point, because if I am a beer critic, then you absolutely have the right to be a critic of me being a beer critic. So, for those of you who have not seen this before, here's a little breakdown of how I rate beers here on Guruofbrew.com.
First and foremost, I rate to style, because it is the only fair and accurate way to rate a beer. Many people that rate beers on the crowd sites like Untappd or Beeradvocate do not do this; they rate beers absolutely. How can you rate a 5% blonde ale against a 14% barrel aged barleywine? You just can't, not fairly anyway in my opinion. I myself rate beers on Untappd, though I mostly use it to see what friends are drinking and to keep track of what I drink and when and where I drink it.
Then I rate hedonistically. Maybe that 5% Blonde Ale is not the best example of the style, but darn didn't it taste good and wouldn't I love to drink it again? Definitely handing out points for that.
Next, I rate by value. If Brewery A sells that 14% barrel aged barleywine for $19.99 for four pint cans, but Brewery B sells one I think fits to style just as well and I like just as much but sells theirs for $17.99 a 4-pack of the same size cans, as a consumer I have to give Brewery B the nod for that.
All these points factor into my five-point scale.
A full 5 stars, or a 100 on your report card, equates to an A+.
A 4.5 to 4.75 is a 90 to 95, an A or A-.
A 3.75 to 4.25 is a 75 to 85, a C+ to B+.
A 3.5 is a 70, or a C. This is the lowest rating that I consider to be good or average, but not great.
A 3 or a 3.25 is a 60 or 65. That is a D, D-. It is not good.
Anything under that is an F.
Most of my beer ratings come in at 4 stars. Again, that is an 80, or a B, and it is a good rating. I think in today's craft beer world, there are a lot of solid beers that deserve a B. A C is just too low. So that is how I rate.
Today, I am here to tell you about a beer I did not rate so highly, Abomination Sticky Oven Peanut Butter, Banana and Marshmallow Pie, a beer they call an Imperial Brown Ale. Since we are talking about rating beers, I will tell you this one gets 3.25 stars from me. A 65. A D.
Before we look at how I arrived at that score, I will tell you that there is no information about the beer on the brewery website, and a search of their Facebook page did not turn up anything either. I did, though, get this from Half Time Beverage, where I bought the beer:
An Imperial Brown Ale/Double Pastry Stout with 7% ABV, known for its sweet, dessert-like flavor profile, often featuring notes of banana, creamy peanut butter, and toasted marshmallow.
Rating to Style: This is the first way I always look at a beer and for this one , if you will pardon the pun, where things get sticky. You could call it an Imperial Brown Ale, as the brewery does, but with all the adjuncts here it is also what I consider a spiced beer. If you call it an Imperial Brown, it should be bigger and maltier than a traditional brown ale, whether classic English or hoppier American. I found it to be neither, and it was for me too thin in body. It got better marks in the spiced beer category, as the peanut butter and banana were well represented here, though the marshmallow was not as robust. All in all, for either style this was a 3.5 for me. Again, that's a C-.
Hedonistically: Did I enjoy the beer? I did and I did not. Again, I liked the flavors presented here, especially the peanut butter, and more on that later. As I drank, though, the thinness in body nagged at me, the beer just did not have the body to support all those flavors. I could not help but think that the beer would be so much better with a fuller mouthfeel and was lacking. This knocked it down to 3.25 overall, a D+.
Pricing: I paid $6.99 for a single can from Half Time Beverage. I do not judge pricing off singles, you will always pay more for them, so that is not fair to the brewery. Total Wine, though, sells the beer in Overland Park, Kansas as I type for $18.99 a 4-pack. That is overpriced in my opinion for a 7% beer, especially one I found lacking in the first two categories.
About Abomination Brewing Company
Abomination Brewing Company is a gypsy brewery known for hazy IPAs, pastry stouts, and horror‑themed artwork. They brew mainly at the Twelve Percent Beer Project in Connecticut.
Tasting Notes
Abomination Sticky Oven Peanut Butter. Banana & Marshmallow Pie Imperial Brown Ale pours to a dark brownish black color, not opaque at all as a worrisome amount of light came through, with a creamy tan head and a nose of Reese's cup milk chocolate and creamy peanut butter. Taking a sip, the beer is medium in body, and I want it to be fuller. Still, it is not lacking in flavor. It is full of smooth milk chocolate notes and creamy peanut butter. They really nailed the peanut butter here, and the banana comes through nicely too. The marshmallow vanilla is lightest, but it is there, and the flavors all work together nicely, though the beer thins in the finish and that keeps it from being truly spectacular. That bothered me as I sipped, and the more I sipped, the more the thinness convinced me this beer just does not have enough body to support it all.
Value & Verdict
I paid $6.99 for a single can from Half Time Beverage. I do not judge pricing off singles, you will always pay more for them, so that is not fair to the brewery. Total Wine, though, sells the beer in Overland Park, Kansas as I type for $18.99 a 4-pack.
Not a beer I would try again, though if they released a variant on the theme on an imperial stout, I would certainly give that a try.
